After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
