Define "chronic" masturbator.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
