Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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