Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
