Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
FUCK WHALES
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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