I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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