You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
