if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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