Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
