How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
