I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
