I swear she didn't look like that last week.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
