Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
