just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
