my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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