Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
