Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
