is your mom at the bar?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
