he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
