so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
