How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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