...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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