Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
