Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
