The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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