Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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