Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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