Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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