at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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