You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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