just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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