if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize