make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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