3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
