So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
