The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
