I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
