I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize