Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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