why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
