Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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