1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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