He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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