he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
