K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
