I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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