my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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