i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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