How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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