my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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