Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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