just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
