Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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