Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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