So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
