Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
