So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize