Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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