Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
