that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My dick has a subreddit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
