i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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