Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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