Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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