My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
