butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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